When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they
just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things,
and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is,
“What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife,
and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to
go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and
the second one didn’t.”
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband
when she’s wrong.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You
can have mine.”
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive..”