When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they
just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
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Woman inspires us to great things,
and prevents us from achieving them.
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The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is,
“What does a woman want?
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I had some words with my wife,
and she had some paragraphs with me.
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“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to
go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
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“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
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“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and
the second one didn’t.”
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
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You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
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A good wife always forgives her husband
when she’s wrong.
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A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You
can have mine.”
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First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive..”